cookie

i was planning on blogging about redeemer youth group from this past monday night, but i feel like God's putting something else on my heart, and revealing quite a bit out of it. so here goes...

a few weeks ago, the girls downstairs befriended a woman from the neighborhood named cookie. they had a brief rendezvous at the local laundromat, after which the girls invited cookie over for dinner. as it turns out, cookie not only lives in our neighborhood, but on our very street, albeit in circumstances none-to-similar. she is borderline homeless, scrapping together $15-a-day from her GR check to pay for her "apartment" (as a side note, GR checks run a maximum of $221/month which, if you do the math, only lasts cookie 14.73 days/month; presumably, she spends the rest of her time chillin' 24/7 in the streets of beautiful south central los angeles); she is unemployed and searching vigorously for a job, though at 60 years of age cookie's not quite the apple of any employer's eye; she also loves to cuss and cuss she does, at a rate far too profuse for the average inner-city minister to bear.

the girls' relationship with cookie has been interesting. after the initial meeting and dinner gathering, cookie's increasing comfort with the girls has been obvious. without warning cookie'll often stop by and unabashedly request a handout or some kind of assistance. at any time, on any day, for any matter, cookie might drop by and pay a visit. for this, i think God is due some praise. the level of relationship and trust and the opportunity to serve the least is pretty darn cool - something that at once challenges and encourages me, and reminds me a bit of how the poor and sick flocked to Jesus during his time on earth. on a personal note, i wonder why homeless folks aren't stopping by on my doorstep all the time looking for a little bit of help. actually, there's not too much wonder - it's probably unlikely that a man or woman off the streets will just start showing up at my apartment without any initiative on my part. that is, unless a sect of homeless jehovah's witnesses springs up in the near future.

back to cookie. in an effort to care for more than cookie's day-to-day needs, the girls downstairs asked me to look into some potential shelters, programs and social services that might provide cookie with more stability. i worked on her public benefits situation a bit and did a little research into homeless shelters for women. the excitement peaked this past wednesday when i located a transitional shelter program, designed specifically to provide women with job-training and the means to get back on their feet. i was pumped - cookie would have a chance to save money, develop job skills and become self reliant, all outside of skid row. it really felt like i was doing a good thing.

thursday morning rolled around and after confirming an appointment for cookie at the shelter, i called lauren to make sure that cookie would be available. my excitement was met with an unexpected surprise - cookie had found a job and would be able to continue living in our neighborhood as before. now, even without the shelter, cookie would have a chance to save money, develop job skills and become self-reliant, all outside the drug-infested, demonic stronghold of skid row. we, servant partners interns, would also be able to play a part in her life with the hopes of showing her small and large glimpses of the kingdom of God. but for whatever reason, this success created little joy in my heart and though i conveyed excitement and optimism to lauren, the emotions were feigned at best.

i thought some about my reaction to all this and came to the following conclusion: i have very little idea of what it means to love my neighbor as myself. in this instance, instead of wanting a life of hope and meaning for cookie, my sole ambitions were to show my usefulness as an advocate for the poor and to move her out of our neighborhood to a shelter where she could be someone else's problem. wanting cookie to have a job and become more stable was motivated by selfishness, not compassion or love. and claiming that there is more in this world for cookie than the destructive cycle of living on the streets was a perverted way of protecting my own comfortable lifestyle, rather than a true proclamation of the hope that comes from Jesus Christ.

in response to a lawyer seeking to justify himself before man, Jesus describes a samaritan who crosses all sorts of difficult boundaries - racial, religious, prejudicial - to "prove neighbor" and love a man who had been beaten, robbed and left for dead on the road from jerusalem to jericho. upon seeing his jewish brother, the samaritan takes leave from his own journey to care for the jew - he binds up his wounds, sets him on his beast and brings him to an inn. as he leaves the inn, he says to the innkeeper, "Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, i will repay you when i come back." let me say that once more. as he leaves the inn, he says to the innkeeper, "Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, i will repay you when i come back." to this Jesus commands, "Go and do likewise."