An Incident

Around midnight last night, I sat in the office working when a police helicopter began to swirl overhead. The search light shined precisely on our corner and as I peered out the window, Chris was being led from his home in handcuffs to the back seat of a police cruiser. Four police cars filled our end of the block.

Chris had been a part of our youth group my first two years in Los Angeles. He was 15 and 16 those years and showed little interest in the Gospel. He was rough and cold, but never aggressive towards me. He came with some consistency but his heart never seemed to soften.

In the last couple years, as the CLH guys moved from 30th/Kenwood/Raymond, Chris seemed to change. He got a job at Yoshinoya. He started taking his sisters and brother to school. He seemed to be mkaing good choices and getting on the right track.

Then last night happened. Apparently the last three months have been hell. Gina sat on her step in tears, Sabrina was also crying. At first I didn’t know why. Perhaps it was because Chris was being taken away - a mother upset and saddened by the police taking her eldest son to jail. Sabrina, breaking down in tears because her big brother was headed to county, where he might stay for a while.

As we sat there and talked late into the night I discover it was Gina who had in fact called the police. She was angry and upset because the day before she had also tried calling the police but to no avail. Chris taunted her – “you can call them, they’ll never show up.” And so yesterday climaxed a series of unfortunate events. Three days ago, Chris broke a window and forced his way in to Diana’s room. Two days ago he forced Gina to let him in the house after she changed the locks and kicked him out. Yesterday after she left the door open for him, he came back high and drunk, attacked Richard for the key and ended up breaking the household computer.

Gina was at the end of her rope. I went with her this morning to file a temporary restraining order against her own son. I affirmed her for this courageous decision. She thought this was the right thing to do, but guilt and shame filled her repeated justifications - "the other kids don't want him around," or "I have to do this, I just have to" or "what if he does something worse." I agreed and assured her that this was the right thing to do. But she continued on, every minute or so, assuring herself that she was not an awful mother.

As we sat there last night waiting for the police to write their report, another neighbor said to me “she needs Jesus” and motioned for me introduce her to Him. The neighbor is right, so very right. But how do I tell Gina about Jesus?

As we sat in the court today she shared of the difficulty of the last 3 months. In April she lost her job because she has no legal status. She applied for welfare and food stamps and only just began to receive payments this month in July - $600 cash and $350 in food stamps a month for her and three teenage children. She became depressed and didn’t come out of the apartment for an entire month. No wonder I hadn’t seen her in forever. She thought about drinking her sorrows away, but by the grace of God chose not to – instead, she took doctor prescribed pills. At least her ex-boyfriend decided to help – he remains in their apartment, contributes to the rest and is good to the girls and Calvin. But she’s angry with God because it just feels like he’s not around when she needs him – or maybe he doesn’t care.

But boy does she need some healing. At 17 she gave birth to Chris – his dad a 35 year old at the time who has been absent and living somewhere in San Bernardino. At age 19 she had Calvin whose father abused her and left. At age 21 she had Diana only to have Diana’s dad leave her when Diana was 1 and get married within 3 months – prior to that, she caught him sleeping with a friend in her room. He hasn’t so much as paid for a set of pampers since. Then she had Sabrina at 23 with another man she met at work. They didn’t work out either and there was some violence. She hasn’t seen him in quite some time. And so, heart hardened and trust broken repeatedly, she became self-sufficient and self reliant. She decided no man would ever touch her again, but really decided something far deeper – no person would ever gain her trust again, she just couldn’t risk it.

So what to do now? The TRO was not granted but there’s a court date on 8/13. Chris could come back from the station/jail any day and she’s unsure what will happen. Surely he’ll come back, but how will she respond? Will the cops come? Will there be another violent episode? Lord have mercy and grant peace.

She’s pulling in a couple days a week at a clothing factory. That plus the welfare and Richard’s contribution is helping her make it. But what happens if he leaves. Heck, even if he doesn’t leave things are tight. What will this do to Calvin and Sabrina and Diana? How much brokenness and pain does this leave in their young hearts?

My little sister Anna is only 13. Sabrina, Gina's youngest is 12. What if Anna had to deal with no father and a brother violently attacking other family members? What if she had to see me getting taken away in handcuffs by the cops defiantly remorseless? What if she came home from school every day on guard and wary of her brother, unsure if he would hit or molest because of drugs and alcohol? What if her mother lost her job because of her immigration status and then became so depressed she couldn't put food on the table? Would she believe that there is a God that is good? Would she believe in redemption and hope and goodness?

Where are you Lord? How are we to be your church? I don’t know how to preach the Gospel here. I don’t know how your hope and redemption are believable to a person like Gina. Please Jesus, speak. Please Holy Spirit, move. Please Heavenly Father, love. Provide for Gina and give her hope that is true. Work in Chris, bring repentance and transformation. Heal and care for Sabrina, Calvin and Diana. Demonstrate who you are for your Name’s sake.